Now we come to dad.
Dad is, and always has been, highly protective of Mum. There are times when I do wonder why they had children since, well, it seems as though we all take second place to Mum. But,then, it's the way it is.
He used to like preparing all her meals, her drinks, changing her etc etc. Then he got old. Then he got sick - he has diabetes (is now on insulin) as well as severe congestive heart failure. He hasn't been able to move or roll her for quite a few years and it hasn't been easy on him backing off from what he sees as his role.
He still, on occasions, likes to make her a sandwich but he never remembers to tell me he's doing this so I don't double do the food prep. So, I have to keep a weather eye on him when it comes to meal times. Same with her meds, sometimes he does them, sometimes he doesn't and he forgets that he shouldn't.
He likes to putter in the garden. Unfortunately, he also falls in the garden a fair bit - usually in or around the roses! Or down manholes! The drs can't find anything wrong with him, as far as the falls go. He likes to buy new plants for the garden even though it is full to bursting with lovely plants. That said, he can't do anything as much as he used to and gets annoyed at me or my sister if we don't do what he wants done in the garden in the timescale he wants it done in. Our ability, or fitness levels are of no concern.
He wasn't like this when he was younger, but then, when he was younger he did most things himself.
His hearing isn't the best, he refuses to use his hearing aids because they hurt his ears, so he gets me to phone places for him, if email or internet ordering can't be done.
When he goes to hospital he can't be bothered any longer to interact with the medics so either my sister or I have to do it for him. Usually it's me because I'm far more tolerant than my sister. Recently I've had to lodge our Power of Attorney with the local hospital because they weren't listening to us. (Why listen to family?) That was a day of phone calls back & forth, mostly speaking to secretaries, who couldn't have been more helpful.
Speaking of Power of Attorney - if you have older parents, get Power of Attorney organised & agreed well before you need it. Make it while their decision making capabilities cannot be called into question and get them to draw up their Wills.
It is uncomfy to entertain the idea that, one day, loved ones won't be capable or won't be around BUT having these things in place before hand saves so much heartache & conflict.
Today he's suffering from having done too much yesterday & yesterday was just a trip to the supermarket. He's puffing quite hard and he's dizzy. So it's been a case of juggling him and mum. Lucky I have long arms LOL
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