According to ancient traditions (i.e. those which predate Christianity) this time of year was classed as a Harvest Festival, since a lot of crops (given good enough weather) would start to be harvested around this time of year.
Personally, though I am not a Christian, I don't celebrate it - it's just another day at the face of care giving. Maybe I should have more special days though, days which I can set aside to just have some quiet "me" time (ha ha - just joking, that won't happen until my circumstances change).
It's been a week though. My car decided it has an issue with it's steering, so I haven't been driving this week. He goes to the mechanic on Monday and we'll find out what the damage is - literally and monetarily. Dad went from being supportive - don't drive, get it seen to, let me know how much (which always comes as a relief since I have no savings to fall back on) - to being bolshy and combative with "I can't afford a big bill you know" and statements which made me feel quite upset and angry. I know it's where he is, mentally, these days - nothing much in life exists outside of himself and Mum and their bank balance. But, the long and the short of it is, if I don't have some method of getting out the house regularly I'll end up snapping and, when/if that happens, both him and Mum will be carted off into a care home and their quite reasonable retirement income will disappear faster than mist in the summer. However, he no longer can see that, comprehend that. *sigh* So he hits out at me, as if I sabotaged my car deliberately just to irritate him.
Safe to say I am sorely missing my car & the freedom he represents and the fact that I don't have to ask to be taken where I need to go. I'm thankful my sis has a car though, otherwise it'd be taxi journeys everywhere and they are on the expensive side.
Mum's not had a bad week, in fact, most of the time she's been quite chirpy and if she has been at all combative it's been in a way which I can diffuse. Though she asked me last night why I was so tired. Knowing that my answer, depending on what I said, could make her feel overly guilty (she's turned feeling guilty into an art form and then turning it back on others to try to make them feel guilty), I phrased my response carefully. Well, let's see - I can lie in a bed for long (I get sore & my sinuses clog up). I have pernicious anaemia which means I'm tired but it's the kind of tired which never goes away because there is nothing which cures it. I have fibromyalgia which makes a person tired - constant pain & the actual disease are the causes. Not much can be done about that. The fact that her TV is on from 7 a.m. until 8:30/9 p.m. with the volume at 45 or higher, makes napping incredibly difficult. The fact that there is shopping, washing, cleaning, checking up on carers, cooking etc etc etc to be done to maintain her and dad doesn't eat into my day/energy levels at all - oh heavens no. But one doesn't say that to mum.
That said, she did give me £20 to buy a new pet carrier - I had wanted one with wheels since carrying the carry cage is difficult & painful now, but the wheeled ones were coming in at close on £60. So I got one which has a shoulder strap. I can carry a fair bit of weight if it's across my chest/back - just shoulders and arms which can't take much direct stress these days (unless it's an emergency).
The parents of my best friend get married today. I hope they have a lovely day. Sounds odd though, doesn't it? But his mother is gay and same sex marriage has only recently been legally recognised in Texas, so it is something rather special for all involved, a day they never thought would happen has arrived. Congrats to them & I hope they have many grand years together.
I decided to clean the house on Thursday - I was getting most upset by the sheer number and size of the dust bunnies under Mum's bed (fed on a healthy diet of dropped mints and straws lol). So, in with the duster, the vacuum, the steamer. Once her room was done I moved onto the landing, my room, the stairs, and the carpets downstairs. All in all about 2 hours of solid work - and I'm still in the process of recovering. It's played hell on my wrists, back, thighs. And, when I look back, not so very long ago 2 hours of house cleaning would have cleaned the entire house from top to bottom including bathrooms. Yet, according to the UK Government, being like this is a life style choice. Man, have I made a bad choice then - how do I correct it? There is no treatment for fibro, there's hardly any research on it. I've tried to decide that I don't have it, but my body reminds me very quickly if I try to do anything remotely like "normal". So, tell me, UK Westminster Conservative government, how do I correct it?
Which brings me on to Cecil the Lion. I have to admit, I was livid. And my anger grew as I learned more about the situation and about the way that some African governments decide how many lions/tigers/big cats can be hunted legally. And then I read several comments and comentaries about how so many seem to be so angry about the death of one lion when so many people die each day - how can that be right? Right? I'm not sure it's right. But, the thing is, we're bombarded every day with images and stories of the ugly horrors of what human beings do to their fellow humans, it has desensitised us to some degree, I think. And then there's the other side to it - for me anyway. Humans will always seek to hurt and maim and kill each other, it's a fundamental part of what makes us a species (all species do it to a certain level - think about it before you decide to disagree). Doesn't make it right, doesn't make it acceptable, just makes us who we are. However, attacking a creature (any creature) which can't fight back - making it suffer - that's wrong. If you are going to hunt, hunt for food. If you are going to kill an animal, eat it - make its death count for something. And no, I don't think having its head mounted on a wall or it's skin made into a rug or its bones ground up for some mystical magic potion as counting for something - but that's just me and my opinion.
And now I need to get my bones & muscles working, go find my snuffles so I can breathe for 10 or 11 hours and get started on all the stuff I have to get done today.
Happy Rainbows!
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